tears of a clown

i feel like crying...

I dont know why.

Letters...

I wrote a letter to God one day... i didnt mail it. I wasnt sure where to send it. So It sits in my Bible...

I am listening to pandora radio and a song came on that reminded me of a Marine that died in combat. At the time of his death, he was not the same guy that I knew years before. Much like I am not the same guy that I was years ago. But my letter to God would have read similarly... I think.

sensitivity is not my strong suit.

Really its not. Just ask my wife.

I am a talker... I talk too much, most of the time. And in doing so, I often say things I should not. It is problematic. I have been working on this issue for a while, but there are times when I just turn my filter off. "Stuff" just falls out of my mouth when I do.

There are other times when I say things and they are misinterpreted. That is a bummer.

Other times, because I try and be funny most of the time, serious comments are over looked as passing jokes.

Today another friend of mine asked, "Am I mean?"

I knew she was referring to something she had said at work... She called some one "Naive." Another co-worker covered their face and shook their head. As she explained, she decided "innocent" may have been a better choice.

I told her that she does have a way of making things sounds worse than she intends... and that people seldom hear he further explanation because the initial word choice or wording has already put them on edge and even sometimes on the defensive.

My suggestion was to think before speaking, she admitted that was the issue. But lets be honest, thats not always easy... and it is way less fun!

Our conversation turned to a speech class I had taken in high school. My teacher said that our "circles of understanding" never fully overlap. This is because of our life experiences and the personal connotation the words carry for us. They are are always, at least slightly, different.

Too bad we cant explain every word in every sentence. We dont have time....

I guess that is why we have to choose our words carefully from the beginning... knowing our audience, really helps too.